Dear Diary; Creativity in motion

Yesterday morning I woke early; I cleaned my flat – in my pants…! 

Then put my running kit on, and by 8am, everything was all sparkly clean and I was all ready to run…

At the moment, I have no running  goals, no races that I am aiming for – But I like to run – for fun, for fitness.

My creative expression…

I stepped out of the door, no real plan in mind – not even a route.

I turned up…

In front of my own blank Saturday morning canvas

I also had no real plan for my ‘Conversations with a Bodhisattva’ group.

Where I intend to show up every day for a year – at least – to see what happens…

With my creative flow…

Where will it go?

Me in motion – my canvas….. The roads, the parks, the globe…

The video camera and the blank blog page…

Even when we are not sure – turn up at the page

Even when we are afraid – turn up at the page

Even when we have nothing to say – turn up at the page

Even when we don’t want to – turn up at the page

Because magic can happen in the act off stepping out of the door, up to the easel, to the kitchen to cook; to the piano to sing…

A space of finding out…

If we want to aim for the stars, run a race, create a home, a meal, a symphony, a song, pass an exam, change the shape of our body, learn a language 

We need to turn up…

And in turning up, we can explore what it is we might want… Investigate it more deeply, open the door to our dreams…

And while we are there look for where there are blocks, the incongruencies, the hold ups…

We want to start the day running – but we love to lie in bed

We want to be slimmer, but we so love to eat

We want to pass an exam, but prefer to meet friends than revise…

All of this must be brought from the shadows, into the light

In the light we can we work it all out; integrate it and we are set free

To plan the next stage… 
How do we do this dream? What do we need…?

To reach for our own star….

The plan unfolds… The journey has begun; we must give ourselves time – and relax in each step

Remember to breathe – and find the silence in the breath, stay in each step as we make our way to our goal….

Turn up each day with or without a spring in our step – a space in our heart to find out; to unravel; to turn this way and that …

To discover things we never knew about ourselves, about life, about others.

To uncover latent talents, inner strengths.

To learn new skills..

As our creativity flows…. And then the goal – whether we reach it or not – has served its purpose…

Our creativity spilling out

Us in motion each day

The blank canvas alive – with our energy and light.

Dear Diary; Let Me Become

Let love and light shine from my heart
And as I run
Let me become
More me
More free
So that others can see it
And find it for themselves.

This was a prayer I wrote to myself many years ago; a poem of my dream; my wish to run free. 

The me below that me, ran to express; to paint the picture of my soul in each step

I knew that the only thing that mattered to me was to clear the pain, the places where I had separated from my self – from me; the true me – below the me that identified with being a fast runner, who sought the love and approval ‘out there’, through the chimera of success

To express freedom
To express love
Joy
Fun

I knew that all that mattered was to keep ‘wiping the mirror until there was no mirror to wipe’.

So that freedom and joy were in every running step.

I also knew that where I was trapped in the cycle of attachment to outcome; to the chimera of winning being important.

I knew this meant that I was not clear of the treadmill I was on.

There was more wiping of the mirror to be done.

I also knew that my running journey shone a light for me on the path ahead, and reflected straight back onto me…

This light guided me to the next step and the next… The joyous expression of my soul in motion; but it shone right onto my pain too.

My running step was both my salvation and my nemesis.

And many years later, I read this poem now; this prayer to the future me.

And I find the future me is here.

She runs, her feet bare, each step an adventure (if sometimes an ouchie one! )

I am more me
I am more free
I have become
As I run.

.