Celebrating and validating our differences leads to connection; both in relating individually or in groups; families, working environments, teams, villages, town and cities – whole countries and cultures…
Understanding one another, allows us to truly relate…
Fundamentally this comes from understanding ourselves…Being prepared to recognise that anything that triggers us – irritates upsets, throws out is all to do with us.
When we live from this position, then the space between us, and the other remains safe and clear.
If every time we feel something inside us, that means we want to ‘fight of fly’ – then by pressing pause and staying present – here and now – we can clear that energy within us and not project it onto the other…
The mist can clear and we find ourselves at ease again, and in a position to truly listen, validate empathise and understand the persons who is communicating with us.
We can see and hear them in the present
We can validate their different position, different ideas and perspective on something.
This takes practise of course, 24/7 practise…
But, it leads to a far deeper connection than hoping everyone will ‘be like us’.
Last night, Anadi told me that he loves working late into the night, not always, but often – when he is programming on his computer. He says his brain works best this way – to go to bed late having worked late and to get up late.
I prefer to go to bed early and get up early… I like to do most of my exercising early – my body works best this way.
Anadi and I met in 2012 and got married in February 2014 – almost exactly six years ago now.
In our very first conversation – which was on the phone to set up a time for Anadi to interview me on my running as a meditation – we shared our different ways of living.
The Owl and the Lark!
We felt the connection with one another in that first conversation, and soon we were relating more deeply… From the outset we committed to a conscious relationship…
By this we meant one where we were both fully committed to our own process; that we wouldn’t project anything that arose within us, which needed to be ‘worked out’, onto the other.
We committed that we would own our own process always, whilst supporting the other in theirs…
We spoke early on about living separately – but always deepening the relating..
However instead of living separately we set off as nomads in December 2013 and for four years were together the whole time, often living in a small room somewhere across the seas, where we knew no one but each other…
I went to bed later and Anadi got up earlier!
We grew closer and closer as we navigated and validated our differences and worked through every single thing that arose… Not a stone was left unturned…
In 2018 it became obvious that Anadi needed to be in London more for his business and I in Spain – to run across it! ( in bare feet!)
My heart wrenched as we parted at Gatwick – but I knew this too was to be worked through…
During that year we only saw on another for a few weekends – about once a month…But we continued to grow closer as we communicated across 2000 miles. ..The essence of our relating being our own commitment to clearing and consciousness…
Fast forward to this year – 2020
We are both living and working in London…
We are living in separate flats two minutes around the corner from one another…Anadi goes to bed in the early hours and I get up in the early hours!
Except when we have sleep overs of course…
Then the owl influences the Lark and the Lark the Owl!