Category: Diary of a Bodhisattva

The cycles of life – round and round they go…Children playing, exploring investigating.

Being instructed to ‘stop that right now’…

Reprimanded – controlled, told off… But the child does it anyway… ‘You bad boy’!

‘Give me a child until he is seven – and I will show you the man’.

Unless…

The man wakes up – and investigates the patterns from his childhood – and clears the hurts; the stuck energy…

And then life opens to ‘three thousand possibilities’ in every moment.

Then we are never bored; by the cycles that we are stuck within…

We are never bored by life… The inner reflected outside; never the circumstances always our inner landscape creating our reality….

‘Look…. There’s someone in the river’, I said…

Anadi and I leaned over Battersea bridge watching a man leisurely swimming about below us.

We had enjoyed a late sunny Sunday afternoon walk along the South bank, still bathed in its warmth, and were now making our way back…

A police van drew up beside us, one of the police offers leapt out and shouted to the man…‘Yes, yes – I’m coming in’, he responded.

We watched him navigate his way – against the current now; his bare bottom revealed by flashes of light glinting on the water…Three police officers now, awaited him on the steps… Two more soon joined and a conversation full of gesticulations from all parties ensued…

Our theatre in the moment unfolding.

Quite soon the party broke up… And with some shorts on now – he sauntered off.

I turned to Anadi  – ‘I want to Congratulate him’

We ran after him…‘Well done’ – I said, he turned and smiled; tall, piercing blue eyes, late forties perhaps…

‘Why thank you’ he replied – an educated voice – you might guess him to be a lawyer, a professional man…

‘The police didn’t think so’….‘Well at least you weren’t arrested’ – Anadi laughed… ‘It was a close thing’, he said, ‘I gave as good as I got’

‘Is it illegal to swim in the Thames’? I asked.

‘Yes’ – he replied‘…You could have said you didn’t know’…

‘That not a defence in law’ – he smiled at me… We talked a bit more about swimming; riptides and watery adventures! 

And then as way of explanation for his swimming fun – he said

‘I’m so bored… of all this….’

And so… maybe as he has always done?

He created his fun, in the sun.

He took the ‘naughty path’…

A light bright Saturday afternoon, and Anadi and I set off for a walk up the Kings road – the promise of a Pret coffee treat at the half way point!

Crossing the road out of the chilly shade, into the sunny warm on the other side of the street, we saw a man lying on the pavement… He was stretched out on his side the whole way across; a young woman beside him – hesitating, hovering  – unsure what to do.

We all bent over him… ’Do you need help’? I asked, he vaguely waved a hand at me…

‘Shall we call an ambulance’? Anadi asked… Fumes of alcohol  –  swirled around.

He waved his hand – gave us a thumbs up… ‘I just want to lie in the sun for bit’…

And so we three continued on our way, and left him to rest in the sun…

’I think he’s had a drink’ I proffered; ‘Anadi laughed ‘I think he’s had a few’…

At Pret we chose our mini picnic with coffees – then found a space under a tree; on a grassy patch in front of the elegant cream houses, stretching upwards, tall – the doors all painted a different colour… Police in their van nearby, enjoying the restful afternoon of sun, their door open – lounging and and chatting together…

‘We used to have brunch, and spend £50’ I mused…’Hard to do now’!

As we set off – the sound of someone sobbing and crying out filled the air…

‘Please help me’…’Please help me’

He was sitting on the road, his leg looked infected and sore… ‘I haven’t got anywhere to live’.

He was crying loudly…‘Please help me’.

I went to the cash point – and took out the £50 I didn’t spend on Brunch – he stopped crying…

Further on there was a loud hooting of horns – a line of cars backing up… 

A small vehicle, with a couple inside it, had broken down at the traffic lights… Some folk had already gone to help… 

A group were pushing the car out of the way…

To engage – to help, to be human – two meters apart was impossible… At every turn on this Saturday afternoon of bright sunny light.

I didn’t really plan to start my ‘Conversations with a Bodhisattva’ Group, it sort of planned me…

I didn’t really plan to run across Spain without any shoes on, my feet seemed to decide this for me!

It appeared that I just found myself shedding all I owned and setting off on a nomadic journey with Anadi…

And I didn’t really plan to spend the whole of my life working as a healer and teacher in the lives of others

My life path seemed to steer me…

And so it has always been.

All the adventures of my existence, unfolding it feels, without me having had much say…

But the truth is that deep inside my inner compass has planned them all

My deeper knowing senses when a path opens that must be trod…

In the same way that deep inside I have always known when I am going in the direction that is against the flow of the river…

When I have been swimming upstream…

But also at the time couldn’t stop this; some karma to be worked out, some lesson to be learned

‘I knew I shouldn’t have done that..’

A huge mistake – but I learned and I grew, and so it needed be…

And again followed my inner compass, where there is always a flow, I go with it; the river tumbling and sparkling and playing downstream; sometimes seeming to go too fast , and flowing over dangerous rocks and swirling in eddies, but always flowing freely from its source…

And returning to the source from which it first begun

When we connect to our own source, to the self beneath any self that we might have created; remove any mask that we wear so that we might be accepted, acceptable –  and decide instead to take it off, and to stop following the path of conventional wisdom…

When we stop in our tracks, along the well trodden path that we know but feel isn’t fully true;

We can begin again to listen to the whisper of our self.

The silence of our self

The self that will lead us to the experiences that resonate with our truth.

And then we  experience that…

Everything comes from the silence within

I set off up the road without my shoes, the feel of the road beneath my feet…

Weaving my way once again, between the small stones, jumping over the cracks in the wide grey paving slabs…

Padding up the stony steps to Albert bridge…A smooth pathway underfoot to the other side of the river…

Into Battersea Park

Two laps round the circumference, appreciating the sensation of the ground under my soles…

Remembering why I took my shoes off… And have never really put them back on…

This English winter, my first in seven years, persuaded me into vivo barefoot by day and skinners socks and vibram fivefingers to run about in…

Warm feet, cosy winter feet

But they now cry out to be naked again… To tap tap tap along, strong feet.

Feet free

People look – always – some aghast, some intrigued, some in admiration…

The police circling slowly on motor bikes, took no notice of me – not one bit.

My inner voice lead me to shed my shoes once more, nearly four years ago – on Famara beach…

And, during this UK winter, it whispered to me to keep them warm.

I follow where my inner compass leads – often along the road less travelled; and so each journey is new, uncharted; no road map…

It is a chimera to think that we know the road; that we can plan it out and follow it where we want to go…

Each moment is new… Each moment vibrating with limitless possibility

Each moment never ever lived before

How can we possibly know the way…There is no road map for our lives

But there is an inner compass

We all have one

To start to listen to it, means that we must first stop and hear all the other voices…

The beliefs, the ideas, the stories, the rules of our conditioning – that we have allowed to drown out the gentle subtle movement of the compass within…

It guides always, sensitive always to the truth… It goes on whispering its suggestions – ever more quietly as the years go by – even when the voices of conventional wisdom still lead the way…

But if we stop

And feel

Listen to our heart

Hear its whisper

Very soon, its beat can start to soar and the compass becomes our constant guide

Life truly begins

Bare Sole to

Bare soul

A few days ago a memory showed up on Facebook… As they do!

It was of a video of me running along a road in Spain, without my shoes on… I was twenty six days in the fifty two day journey from the North to the South of Spain barefoot…

A film of my life

That now  – never happened…

Our past is gone, like the wake of a boat.

Trying to hold on to the past, keeps us from living

Now…

Watching the film is fun, but it is like watching any film…  A scene on a stage… An illusion flickering and dancing, creating an image…

That fades away and never was.

All made up.

We are not the same as we were yesterday… The stories of our life are just stories – and they are great fun; to re visit; sometimes…

We love a good story!

It’s like reading a book that we really enjoyed, that we lived – the characters our friends for awhile… Remembering our life is like dipping back into the parts of the book that affected us the most – had the most impact…

But when we get stuck there, in a past that never happened, then we can never fully live.

When we get stuck in the past, wishing to be there – ‘Those where the best days of my life’ – Or wishing to change them – full of regret – ‘If only I’d known what I now now…’

Then we cannot live now – and we fear for a future that doesn’t exist…

And so we never fully live.

We simply act on the stage of life, with its ever changing scenes and actors playing different parts but the same story – over and over…

Until we die having never fully lived…

Now is here

Now is now

This is our life… We are creating the story of our life in each moment… We are making the path by walking each step in whichever direction we choose

In the moment.

And the path is inwards… Always inwards…

There is never a stop sign, or a no entry sign on this pathway.

The road is open…

Limitless

The road to the infinite 

Love

On Friday, I spoke with my niece Jess, the Chinese Dragon niece of the highest metal order, who I have mentioned in my writing before…

She is a courageous dragon, currently living in Japan, with no idea of what lies ahead…

She was meant to have flown to New Zealand weeks ago, but they closed their borders and so all plans were gone – just like that…. 

She is living each day as it unfolds.

A week ago, a baby Alpaca was born on the land where she is living, and she is watching him grow. 

He also has no idea of what lies ahead

None of us do

We just pretend we do

Well, we used to…

There are bells that ring, playing a tune, twice each day on this small holding, which is her home – for now. One of the tunes is Edelweiss…. 

I told her the story of when I was eight years old…

I wanted to sing a solo in the school nativity play… I found it difficult ( and still do) to sing in tune, or in time!

The school where very encouraging, They said that I must practise with Miss Nichols, the singing teacher each day – and then they would decide… 

For weeks I practised until one day she gave me one note – and I continued, to sing Edelweiss unaccompanied…

I did it!

In tune…

Miss Nichols swung round on her piano school, arms spread ‘there, she exclaimed…!

Jess and I sang Edelweiss together…

6000 miles apart…

But – none of us are ever actually apart… 

Technology is simply energy, demonstrating the truth we can connect with one another whenever we want…

That we are all connected

Always 

We are all one…

And thank goodness I had Jess to sing with…!

 I have forgotten again how to sing in tune, or keep time…

I haven’t practised enough…!

I was, however, shown at the age of eight that even with things we aren’t naturally good at – that with lots of practise and encouragement and kindness, we can become much better at that we would have ever known…

The key is not having a self concept of ‘I’m useless  at this’ or ‘I should to be good at this’.

Both can limit in debilitating ways…

Just turning up every day and practising whatever it is we would like to develop, whilst being always encouraging and kind to ourselves ….

Allows the space for us to realise things we never would have thought possible before…

Anadi and I set off for our Saturday excursion; to Waitrose, for essential shopping… A bit of a treat, especially as I had seen ‘Pret’ – almost opposite – opening up for business when I ran by last week…

As we approached, we saw the long queue – way back it stretched, all along the edge of the street; colourful too… People, in their coats, carrying bags, some wearing hats… 

Waiting patiently on the pavement. 

Paused in their life… Standing still

Waiting to move… To be given permission to step forward

In their life.

Which someone has pressed pause on – life as they knew it. And so now ‘on pause’ with time to reflect; they stand and stare, on the pavement – patiently paused.

We looked at this queue and glanced at one another.

‘Pret’ beckoned…

Our first coffee out in four weeks.

We joined instead the very short queue, which soon gave us entry to an extra hot flat white 3/4 milk for me, ( and a double choc almond butter cookie too!)  and a cappuccino for Anadi… 

We took our fare – and while leaning on the railings nearby, with pigeons skittering and jumping around our feet, the familiar sight of a police car, soon slid silently slowly past…

Checking out the scene

Leaving us be on our railings, with our coffees clutched in our hands.

Leaving us to our Love on our shiny Saturday date… We two witnessing this world – not feeling to be of it…

This computer game world filled with fear,

And not enough love…

Love banishes fear.

Where there is love fear cannot survive

Infinite love the only truth… Fear the illusion

And so it is….

Another day dawns in a world that appears to have starting turning in the opposite direction; restaurants and shops all shut up, the people who crowded together in buses and tubes have vanished… 

On the streets, an absence of the constant familiar movement that was London Town… Ever awake, never sleeping…..

No running races, gyms, or games of football…

Living near the Chelsea ground, meant that it wasn’t unusual to find myself caught up in the mass of people making their way; I was ferried along, caught in the energy, of the crowds and crowds…

No Wimbledon.

No birthday parties, dinner parties, casual coffee get togethers…

The world as we knew it changed…

Our experience of life so new, so unfamiliar.

Cautiously we skulk around one another in the super market… A long spread out line to get in, with no opportunity for trivial chatter…

Instead of collecting our tickets from the box office at the theatre, or boarding the plane, the excursion with an expectant queue is for Tescos, or the Co op… Or Waitrose for a treat.

Weaving as wide as possible – huge great figures of eight – while running in Hyde Park, with Police a quiet presence, slowly circling the parks, on horseback, in cars… And on every street…  Everywhere we turn, in our world so different than before.

So, what are we to do…? What is to become of us and our world….?

We are to become.

We are to be.

This is our life, now. In this moment, and in every moment.

This is our life

Unfolding in the now.

And so what to do, is to be, here, now.

Quiet within; living from this place, this inner compass.

When we remember who we are…. ‘Who am I? Who am I really’?

 When we live from this still quiet place of truth….Then the outer realms melt away, as we see things from the silence within.

There is no world… Or universe –

Out there…

It exists within us, the reflection of our own energy, our inner state., creating the moment, our world, our universe….

And so we transform the world by being the transformation…

Our energy shifts the vibration all around us; and the reflection shines back.

The love that flows from our silence heals the world…